"Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"It's a beautiful sentiment and I'm so glad it's been preserved on Kell's gravestone for eternity. This summer I decided to sit down and read through the Anne of Green Gables books again. It's been a long, long time since I've read them. They were beautiful. Reading as an adult, I was struck by so many things that never occurred to me earlier. So many beautiful and poignant passages. One, in particular, struck me deeply. After Anne's adopted father, Matthew, passes away. She goes to speak with her trusted confidante Mrs. Allan about her grief. Here is their dialogue:
"It seems like disloyalty to Matthew, somehow, to find pleasure in these things now that he has gone," she said wistfully to Mrs. Allan one evening when they were together in the manse garden. "I miss him so much--all the time-- and yet, Mrs. Allan, the world and life seem very beautiful and interesting to me for all. Today Diana said something funny and I found myself laughing. I thought when it happened I could never laugh again. And it somehow seems as if I oughtn't to." "When Matthew was here he liked to hear you laugh and he liked to know that you found pleasure in the pleasant things around you," said Mrs. Allan gently. "He is just away now; and he likes to know it just the same. I am sure we should not shut our hearts against the healing influences that nature offers us. But I can understand your feeling. I think we all experience the same thing. We resent the thought that anything can please us when someone we love is no longer here to share the pleasure with us, and we almost feel as if we were unfaithful to our sorrow when we find our interest in life returning to us."It's that last bit that really got to me. It was a perfect encapsulation of how I felt for months--years, even--after Kelly-Anne died. "We resent the thought that anything can please us when someone we love is no longer here to share the pleasure with us, and we almost feel as if we were unfaithful to our sorrow when we find our interest in life returning to us."