Monday, October 05, 2015


A darkness falls at this time of year that I never quite anticipate before it arrives. It catches me when I don't expect it. Eating at the edges of my happiness. Crowding out the light. 

The calendar changes to October. I remember what's been lost. The last postcard. The last phone call. The last visit. The last conversation. The last day. Her last breath. 

Kelly Anne died at 24. She took her last breath on this day eleven years ago. She had a great life but yet never had the chance to do so very much. 

Kelly-Anne was loyal and hardworking. She was funny and adventurous. She was determined and friendly. She was spontaneous and selfless.  She cared about people around her and invested her community. 

She was there for me in good times and bad my whole life. We were neighbors, classmates, best friends.  

I miss her.  

There's a void in my life that only she could fill.  She can never be replaced.  Kelly-Anne brought me joy and adventure for twenty years of friendship.  She was like the sister I never had.  

I wonder sometimes what she'd think of all she has missed.  I'm sure she'd be proud of how we managed and delighted we have tried to keep her memory alive.  I know she'd be OVER THE MOON to be an aunt to beautiful Paige and proud of the woman, wife, and mother Kimmy has become.  

My memories of Kelly-Anne are some of my most treasured.  I laugh sometimes when I think of a silly adventure.  Once in a while I see someone with her amazing curls and I smile.  I catch my breath when a friend says something in the same way she would have.

Oh, and I watch the video we made for her funeral.  It no longer causes me to cry every single time I see it.  Sometimes I can even laugh and smile at the memories.  I watch the end and listen to her voice and see her face light up as she talks about the adventure to Italy just before she died. 

Kell ran a good race.  She fought the good fight.  Her time on this earth was short but she left an indelible impression on those around her.