Losing someone you love--whether to illness, accident, or murder--is one of the most painful things we can go through on this earth. Everytime we hear of tragedy, we all hope and pray that it isn't our own child, sibling, parent, or friend. But we have no control over such things.
I am firmly convinced that we all have a role to play in encouraging those around us who are struggling with major challenges such as illness and loss. So often, we recognize the magnitude of the tragedy unfolding around us but we think there is nothing we can say or do to make it better or less painful.
I want to challenge you to think carefully about that assumption. There are always ways you can help, whether it is cooking a meal for the family; driving the patient to an appointment; visiting the hospital; sending a card, letter, or email of encouragment; remembering the family in prayer; or simply offering a kind word to someone in need. These are things we need to remember.
So the next time you hear of a tragic illness or loss, I urge you to do SOMETHING. Do not make excuses for yourself about not knowing someone well enough or not knowing what to say. Trust me, a thoughtful gesture--no matter how imperfect--will be rememebered for a long time and will be a big boost for someone in need.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Bon Jovi
I just got a new CD for my car in honor of Kelly-Anne: Bon Jovi's greatest hits.
I've been driving around these past couple of days rocking out to classic tunes like Livin' on a Prayer, You Give Love a Bad Name, and Blaze of Glory.
I can't help but think about Kell when I listen to these classic tunes. She loved Bon Jovi even when were kids and it brings me right back to a point where I can almost picture her doing Kareoke or rocking out at a lifeguard rant.
Can't close out this post without a classic Bon Jovi video:
I've been driving around these past couple of days rocking out to classic tunes like Livin' on a Prayer, You Give Love a Bad Name, and Blaze of Glory.
I can't help but think about Kell when I listen to these classic tunes. She loved Bon Jovi even when were kids and it brings me right back to a point where I can almost picture her doing Kareoke or rocking out at a lifeguard rant.
Can't close out this post without a classic Bon Jovi video:
Monday, March 01, 2010
Calling all Montrealers
Mckibbin’s West Island and the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club invite you to an
Afternoon of Songs & Laughs: Take III
“Celebrating the Spirit of Kelly-Anne”
To raise funds for the
Junior and Elite Athletes
Of the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club
in memory of Kelly-Anne Drummond
March 20th, 2010 from 2pm - 6pm
6361 Trans-Canada Hwy,Complexe Pointe-Claire,Pointe-Claire, QC H9R 5A5
Live entertainment !
Singer / Song writer Dave Moran
Comedians Mike Paterson, Kevin Gasior & Ryan Wilner
Raffles, Auctions and Door Prizes!
$20 ticket price includes:
1 free beverage, finger food and live entertainment
Come Enjoy the Fun and Support our Aspiring Athletes
Afternoon of Songs & Laughs: Take III
“Celebrating the Spirit of Kelly-Anne”
To raise funds for the
Junior and Elite Athletes
Of the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club
in memory of Kelly-Anne Drummond
March 20th, 2010 from 2pm - 6pm
6361 Trans-Canada Hwy,Complexe Pointe-Claire,Pointe-Claire, QC H9R 5A5
Live entertainment !
Singer / Song writer Dave Moran
Comedians Mike Paterson, Kevin Gasior & Ryan Wilner
Raffles, Auctions and Door Prizes!
$20 ticket price includes:
1 free beverage, finger food and live entertainment
Come Enjoy the Fun and Support our Aspiring Athletes
Friday, February 26, 2010
Canada's Newest Senator
Clearly, I'm behind on Canadian news but this still bears mentioning.
Pierre-Hugues Boisvenu was just appointed to serve as a Canadian senator! In 2002, after the tragic murder of hist daughter, Julie, Pierre Murdered or Missing Persons' Families' Association (AFPAD).
Kudos to Prime Minister Harper for a great decisison. Good luck, Senator Boisvenu.
Pierre-Hugues Boisvenu was just appointed to serve as a Canadian senator! In 2002, after the tragic murder of hist daughter, Julie, Pierre Murdered or Missing Persons' Families' Association (AFPAD).
Kudos to Prime Minister Harper for a great decisison. Good luck, Senator Boisvenu.
Friday, January 15, 2010
At long last
Thanks to the kindness and generosity of Nicolas Wright (mentioned previously on this blog here) we were able to put together an amazing video tribute to Kelly-Anne to play at her wake in October 2004. It was a labor of love--Nic, Stephen, and I worked for hours long into the night to create a lasting memory in honor of our dear friend, Kelly-Anne.
For years I have been unable to find a way to upload this video to YouTube. But at LONG LAST I have managed to get it up there for all the world to see. It is gut-wrenching and heart-warming all at the same time. And, more importantly, it brings me back to a place where I can focus on Kelly-Anne's life. I especially love seeing the video clip at the end where she is interviewed by CTV about her lifeguarding accomplishments.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
xoxo,
Rachel
For years I have been unable to find a way to upload this video to YouTube. But at LONG LAST I have managed to get it up there for all the world to see. It is gut-wrenching and heart-warming all at the same time. And, more importantly, it brings me back to a place where I can focus on Kelly-Anne's life. I especially love seeing the video clip at the end where she is interviewed by CTV about her lifeguarding accomplishments.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
xoxo,
Rachel
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Do the crime, serve your time
Kelly-Anne's mother, Doreen, has a great post up today on her blog. I encourage you to read it and consider your role in making sure the parole board keeps the man who killed Kelly-Anne in jail for his entire sentence.
What kind of society do we have where you can murder someone in cold blood and be released on parole after 13 years? Talk about miscarriage of justice.
Kelly-Anne deserves better.
What kind of society do we have where you can murder someone in cold blood and be released on parole after 13 years? Talk about miscarriage of justice.
Kelly-Anne deserves better.
Funny Memories--Part Six
Here is a snippet of a funny memory of Kelly-Anne that was posted on her online condolence book. The full post can be found here.
I only had the opportunity to meet Kelly-Anne in the last year of her life, but I was so amazed and graced by her presence. She always made me laugh and helped me plan my halloween party, even cutting out little paper pumpkins, and she dressed up like Harry Potter. Small little things were fun with Kelly-Anne and we would often talk about joining up to the gym together and then laugh about what big procrastinators we were...
I only had the opportunity to meet Kelly-Anne in the last year of her life, but I was so amazed and graced by her presence. She always made me laugh and helped me plan my halloween party, even cutting out little paper pumpkins, and she dressed up like Harry Potter. Small little things were fun with Kelly-Anne and we would often talk about joining up to the gym together and then laugh about what big procrastinators we were...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Interesting Comment
Since starting this blog more than 5 years ago, I have recieved many emails and comments about both Kelly-Anne and the man who murdered her. It is very encouraging when people post comments or send in stories about Kelly-Anne. I really enjoy reading these and Kelly-Anne's mother, Doreen, and I will often exchange emails about how happy we are to read something new about Kelly-Anne.
On the other hand, it is both fascinating and horrifying to read the accounts of person after person who knew Marty in the past and had a negative experience with him. Countless people on the West Island have a "Marty" story, and from these experiences it seems clear to me that there was a definite pattern of escalating issues for a long period of time.
Nothing makes me sadder than when I think of how things ended up. Kelly-Anne is never coming back and Marty locked away in jail (for at least another few years). It makes me especially sad because it was completely and utterly preventable. Marty could have taken his issues seriously and sought professional help. Kelly-Anne could have recognized the patterns and signs of a volatile, abusive individual and ended the relationship before her life was snuffed out. We, Kelly-Anne's family and friends, could have been even more insistent to her that she get out of this relationship before it was too late. Obviously, though, the blame for this horrific act of violence lies with one individual and one individual alone.
I want to share the below comment which appeared on the blog yesterday from someone who knew Marty in the past. I hope it will inspire you to take abuse seriously and make sure that if you find yourself in an abusive situation--either as the abuser or the abused--to seek professional help for your problems before it is too late. To the man who made this comment: thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. At some point in the not-too-distant future, Martin will be up for parole so I hope you will consider supporting the family by sharing your recollections about his character.
I unfortunately knew Martin when I was aged 16 to 21. He had a notoriously volatile temper and was always quick to respond to any confrontational situation in an unusually aggressive manner. I can remember him getting into fights at the slightest provocation. This was often fuelled by alcohol abuse. Martin's older brother wasn't much of a role model, either.
I tried to see the good in Martin, but after years of sharing the same circle of friends, I realized that it was time to grow up and seek a more positive environment.
I remember Martin quitting school after high school. I convinced him to start CEGEP at John Abbott College, but after a short time, he could never fully apply himself, and as a result, dropped out.
I bumped into him years ago with my wife, while we were having our car rust proofed. My first thought was, "I don't want my wife around this guy, and I don't want to socialize with him, either."
Years later, I heard about the murder and was shocked and disgusted. I knew Martin to be angry, but killing his girlfriend over rent money???!!!
Martin could never understand that those flashes of anger that he felt could cause irreparable harm to others.
I offer my most heartfelt condolences to Kelly-Anne's family and friends.
I hope that Martin rots in jail, because I don't think that he has it in him to change and become a regular part of society again. He knows how to pretend that he is sorry without actually feeling any remorse. Hearing his excuse about how the knife flew out of his hand sounds like one of his usual excuses. He never could accept the blame for any of his own wrong-doings. It was always somebody else's fault. If let out of jail, my feeling is that he'll just go back to his old ways.
I did not know Kelly-Anne, but she seems like she was one of the bright, shining stars in the universe.
I hope that Kelly-Anne's memory inspires hope, happiness, and a zest for life for others.
Sincerely,
M
On the other hand, it is both fascinating and horrifying to read the accounts of person after person who knew Marty in the past and had a negative experience with him. Countless people on the West Island have a "Marty" story, and from these experiences it seems clear to me that there was a definite pattern of escalating issues for a long period of time.
Nothing makes me sadder than when I think of how things ended up. Kelly-Anne is never coming back and Marty locked away in jail (for at least another few years). It makes me especially sad because it was completely and utterly preventable. Marty could have taken his issues seriously and sought professional help. Kelly-Anne could have recognized the patterns and signs of a volatile, abusive individual and ended the relationship before her life was snuffed out. We, Kelly-Anne's family and friends, could have been even more insistent to her that she get out of this relationship before it was too late. Obviously, though, the blame for this horrific act of violence lies with one individual and one individual alone.
I want to share the below comment which appeared on the blog yesterday from someone who knew Marty in the past. I hope it will inspire you to take abuse seriously and make sure that if you find yourself in an abusive situation--either as the abuser or the abused--to seek professional help for your problems before it is too late. To the man who made this comment: thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. At some point in the not-too-distant future, Martin will be up for parole so I hope you will consider supporting the family by sharing your recollections about his character.
I unfortunately knew Martin when I was aged 16 to 21. He had a notoriously volatile temper and was always quick to respond to any confrontational situation in an unusually aggressive manner. I can remember him getting into fights at the slightest provocation. This was often fuelled by alcohol abuse. Martin's older brother wasn't much of a role model, either.
I tried to see the good in Martin, but after years of sharing the same circle of friends, I realized that it was time to grow up and seek a more positive environment.
I remember Martin quitting school after high school. I convinced him to start CEGEP at John Abbott College, but after a short time, he could never fully apply himself, and as a result, dropped out.
I bumped into him years ago with my wife, while we were having our car rust proofed. My first thought was, "I don't want my wife around this guy, and I don't want to socialize with him, either."
Years later, I heard about the murder and was shocked and disgusted. I knew Martin to be angry, but killing his girlfriend over rent money???!!!
Martin could never understand that those flashes of anger that he felt could cause irreparable harm to others.
I offer my most heartfelt condolences to Kelly-Anne's family and friends.
I hope that Martin rots in jail, because I don't think that he has it in him to change and become a regular part of society again. He knows how to pretend that he is sorry without actually feeling any remorse. Hearing his excuse about how the knife flew out of his hand sounds like one of his usual excuses. He never could accept the blame for any of his own wrong-doings. It was always somebody else's fault. If let out of jail, my feeling is that he'll just go back to his old ways.
I did not know Kelly-Anne, but she seems like she was one of the bright, shining stars in the universe.
I hope that Kelly-Anne's memory inspires hope, happiness, and a zest for life for others.
Sincerely,
M
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thirty
For exactly one month a year, Kelly-Anne, Kimmy, and I were all the same age. Kell and Kim were only eleven months apart, and I celebrated my birthday a little less than a month after Kell. We always thought this little coincidence was funny. Today marked the end of our month of being 29. Today is Kelly-Anne's 30th birthday.
Birthdays are really hard now. On my own birthday I find myself amazed that I am yet another year older and Kelly-Anne is frozen forever at 24. So much has happened in the past five years, and all of it has been without my dear best friend.
I think a lot about what Kelly-Anne's life would be like today if she had lived. What would she be doing for a career? What sport would be her latest obsession? Would she be married? Kids? Would she live in Canada? Or would she have moved someplace else? How would these past five years have changed her?
It does no good to dwell on this, of course. But as my own life passes me by, I can't help reflecting on the lives of those I must live without. Because I can't give Kell a birthday present or a big hug and kiss today, I will instead offer a list of thirty things about her that epitomize the Kelly-Anne I love and miss.
1) Her smile that would light up any room
2) She was ALWAYS up for an adventure
3) Kell knew everyone on the West Island
4) She loved to laugh--often times at herself
5) The. Best. Ringlets. Ever.
6) Was a serious Martha wannabee
7) Had no sense of her limitations--this led her to try tons of things that others never would have
8) Always carried rubber gloves and a face mask. Just in case her emergency services were ever required by someone needing assistance
9) Always sent me a postcard from wherever her travels took her
10) Loved her stuffed animals, Dwayne and Marmaduke
11) Rode her bike everywhere. Rain or shine, and sometimes snow.
12) Took the time to really connect with the kids who she taught--what other daycare educators would rock out to summer of '69 with the kids
13) Used to coax me into driving through the park because my dad did it once when we were 13 and we never laughed harder
14) Gave me my first beer at age 13 in her parents backyard--then scared the living daylights out of me by telling me to sleep on my side in case I vomitted.
15) Would get out her best crafting supplies to write me a letter when I moved to grad school
16) Wrote a special message to my kids in all of my high school yearbooks
17) When she was really stressed she would become totally forgetful. Milk might be left on the counter all day etc.
18) Was so athletic and sporty. Synchro, waterpolo, rugby, competitive lifeguarding and sporty.
19) Always looked out for me in whatever way she could. Was I studying? Was my room clean? Was I wearing my seatbelt?
20) Was tough as nails--tougher than I'd ever be. This girl could rough herself up on the rugby pitch and be perfect a few hours later.
21) Kelly-Anne was always in motion--couldn't stand to be still. Didn't like being indoors much better. Sometimes I find it funny that she even made the time to sleep.
22) One time Kim and I decided to play a prank on Kell. We made up a fake email address and sent her emails from "Crystal Clydes" who supposedly lived near the Drummonds in Dollard. We then waited for Kell to tell us about her long lost friend, which of course she did almost instantaneously. She tried to convince us to go over to Blue Haven and knock on Crystal's door she was so excited. It was at that point we figured we'd better tell her we had invented this poor girl...
23) I was SOOOOOOOOO proud of Kell when she won an award in high school. The girl worked hard and it was great of John Rennie to acknowledge her.
24) A few weeks before she died Kelly-Anne had me editing resumes and cover letters for jobs in television and radio production. She did not give up on that dream, no matter how hard it was to realize.
25) Kell worked hard every year to make Christmas ornaments for those she loved. They were cute and made a great addition to the tree.
26) When Kell as in university at Concordia, she would take random classes in other fields just to learn something new: geology, geography, etc. She was really intellectually curious.
27) Kell-Anne did a project in school where she interviewed our old neighbors from Pierrefonds to get a sense of the history of the street we grew up on. I'm sure these old ladies loved a visit from her!
28) She had a real OBSESSION with cats. Her little cats Katnip and Trixie so sweet and she was equally enamored with Rugger, Toffee, and Pudding.
29) For Kell's birthday in grade five we got to make a music video and then have dinner at Red Lobster. It was great. Our music video was set to Venus by Bannanarama.
30) She was a faithful, true, and wonderful friend.
Birthdays are really hard now. On my own birthday I find myself amazed that I am yet another year older and Kelly-Anne is frozen forever at 24. So much has happened in the past five years, and all of it has been without my dear best friend.
I think a lot about what Kelly-Anne's life would be like today if she had lived. What would she be doing for a career? What sport would be her latest obsession? Would she be married? Kids? Would she live in Canada? Or would she have moved someplace else? How would these past five years have changed her?
It does no good to dwell on this, of course. But as my own life passes me by, I can't help reflecting on the lives of those I must live without. Because I can't give Kell a birthday present or a big hug and kiss today, I will instead offer a list of thirty things about her that epitomize the Kelly-Anne I love and miss.
1) Her smile that would light up any room
2) She was ALWAYS up for an adventure
3) Kell knew everyone on the West Island
4) She loved to laugh--often times at herself
5) The. Best. Ringlets. Ever.
6) Was a serious Martha wannabee
7) Had no sense of her limitations--this led her to try tons of things that others never would have
8) Always carried rubber gloves and a face mask. Just in case her emergency services were ever required by someone needing assistance
9) Always sent me a postcard from wherever her travels took her
10) Loved her stuffed animals, Dwayne and Marmaduke
11) Rode her bike everywhere. Rain or shine, and sometimes snow.
12) Took the time to really connect with the kids who she taught--what other daycare educators would rock out to summer of '69 with the kids
13) Used to coax me into driving through the park because my dad did it once when we were 13 and we never laughed harder
14) Gave me my first beer at age 13 in her parents backyard--then scared the living daylights out of me by telling me to sleep on my side in case I vomitted.
15) Would get out her best crafting supplies to write me a letter when I moved to grad school
16) Wrote a special message to my kids in all of my high school yearbooks
17) When she was really stressed she would become totally forgetful. Milk might be left on the counter all day etc.
18) Was so athletic and sporty. Synchro, waterpolo, rugby, competitive lifeguarding and sporty.
19) Always looked out for me in whatever way she could. Was I studying? Was my room clean? Was I wearing my seatbelt?
20) Was tough as nails--tougher than I'd ever be. This girl could rough herself up on the rugby pitch and be perfect a few hours later.
21) Kelly-Anne was always in motion--couldn't stand to be still. Didn't like being indoors much better. Sometimes I find it funny that she even made the time to sleep.
22) One time Kim and I decided to play a prank on Kell. We made up a fake email address and sent her emails from "Crystal Clydes" who supposedly lived near the Drummonds in Dollard. We then waited for Kell to tell us about her long lost friend, which of course she did almost instantaneously. She tried to convince us to go over to Blue Haven and knock on Crystal's door she was so excited. It was at that point we figured we'd better tell her we had invented this poor girl...
23) I was SOOOOOOOOO proud of Kell when she won an award in high school. The girl worked hard and it was great of John Rennie to acknowledge her.
24) A few weeks before she died Kelly-Anne had me editing resumes and cover letters for jobs in television and radio production. She did not give up on that dream, no matter how hard it was to realize.
25) Kell worked hard every year to make Christmas ornaments for those she loved. They were cute and made a great addition to the tree.
26) When Kell as in university at Concordia, she would take random classes in other fields just to learn something new: geology, geography, etc. She was really intellectually curious.
27) Kell-Anne did a project in school where she interviewed our old neighbors from Pierrefonds to get a sense of the history of the street we grew up on. I'm sure these old ladies loved a visit from her!
28) She had a real OBSESSION with cats. Her little cats Katnip and Trixie so sweet and she was equally enamored with Rugger, Toffee, and Pudding.
29) For Kell's birthday in grade five we got to make a music video and then have dinner at Red Lobster. It was great. Our music video was set to Venus by Bannanarama.
30) She was a faithful, true, and wonderful friend.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Surprise!
Nine years ago this month I hosted a very special party. A surprise birthday party for Kelly-Anne.
She was celebrating her 21st birthday and I decided it was an extra special occasion. Unbeknownst to her I got the emails and phone numbers of all her closest friends and invited them to come celebrate. Everyone was very eager--they loved Kell as much as I did.
We got together that night at Boccacinos, where Kell thought Jeff was taking her for a romantic dinner. Instead she came in to a huge table of friends shouting surprise! We had balloons, drinks, dinner, and a great cake. It was awesome.
Kelly-Anne was truly floored and the look on her face is one I'll never forget. Below is a photo from that special night.
She was celebrating her 21st birthday and I decided it was an extra special occasion. Unbeknownst to her I got the emails and phone numbers of all her closest friends and invited them to come celebrate. Everyone was very eager--they loved Kell as much as I did.
We got together that night at Boccacinos, where Kell thought Jeff was taking her for a romantic dinner. Instead she came in to a huge table of friends shouting surprise! We had balloons, drinks, dinner, and a great cake. It was awesome.
Kelly-Anne was truly floored and the look on her face is one I'll never forget. Below is a photo from that special night.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Appeal, Rejected
Killer's appeal rejected
Court makes decision in minutes; Girlfriend slain by steak knife that flew through air by accident, murderer claims
SUE MONTGOMERY, The Gazette
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Three judges took just 15 minutes yesterday to toss out an appeal by Martin Morin-Cousineau, convicted in April 2006 of murder after he claimed his steak knife flew through the air and accidentally lodged in his girlfriend's neck.
"No one would ever believe a knife could hit with such force," said Nicole Duval Hessler, one of three Quebec Court of Appeal judges hearing the case.
"It's not even a heavy knife. The blade snapped off and stayed inside her neck and the handle was found on the kitchen counter."
In a rare move, the court rendered its decision almost immediately after hearing arguments by the defence and the Crown.
Morin-Cousineau, 35, was found guilty of second-degree murder. He must serve 13 years in prison before he is eligible for parole.
His lawyer, Clemente Monterosso, argued yesterday the judge at the Superior Court trial should have given the jury the option of finding Morin-Cousineau guilty of manslaughter, meaning he didn't intend to kill Kelly-Anne Drummond in their Pierrefonds apartment in 2004.
The judge also shouldn't have allowed testimony from two witnesses because it was hearsay, Monterosso said.
The appeals court rejected both arguments.
Morin-Cousineau claimed that while he and Drummond, 24, were arguing, he threw his hands up in frustration, sending the steak knife with which he'd been eating through the air, stabbing her in the back of the neck. The defence theorized that Drummond tripped on a soft-drink bottle and fell back against the stove, which pushed the knife farther into base of her skull, snapping off the blade.
Yesterday, crown prosecutor Michel Pennou pointed out that Morin-Cousineau never said at his trial that he threw the knife. He simply said he threw his hands in the air, noticed the fork had landed next to him on the couch, but didn't know what happened to the knife.
smontgomery@thegazette.canwest.com
Court makes decision in minutes; Girlfriend slain by steak knife that flew through air by accident, murderer claims
SUE MONTGOMERY, The Gazette
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Three judges took just 15 minutes yesterday to toss out an appeal by Martin Morin-Cousineau, convicted in April 2006 of murder after he claimed his steak knife flew through the air and accidentally lodged in his girlfriend's neck.
"No one would ever believe a knife could hit with such force," said Nicole Duval Hessler, one of three Quebec Court of Appeal judges hearing the case.
"It's not even a heavy knife. The blade snapped off and stayed inside her neck and the handle was found on the kitchen counter."
In a rare move, the court rendered its decision almost immediately after hearing arguments by the defence and the Crown.
Morin-Cousineau, 35, was found guilty of second-degree murder. He must serve 13 years in prison before he is eligible for parole.
His lawyer, Clemente Monterosso, argued yesterday the judge at the Superior Court trial should have given the jury the option of finding Morin-Cousineau guilty of manslaughter, meaning he didn't intend to kill Kelly-Anne Drummond in their Pierrefonds apartment in 2004.
The judge also shouldn't have allowed testimony from two witnesses because it was hearsay, Monterosso said.
The appeals court rejected both arguments.
Morin-Cousineau claimed that while he and Drummond, 24, were arguing, he threw his hands up in frustration, sending the steak knife with which he'd been eating through the air, stabbing her in the back of the neck. The defence theorized that Drummond tripped on a soft-drink bottle and fell back against the stove, which pushed the knife farther into base of her skull, snapping off the blade.
Yesterday, crown prosecutor Michel Pennou pointed out that Morin-Cousineau never said at his trial that he threw the knife. He simply said he threw his hands in the air, noticed the fork had landed next to him on the couch, but didn't know what happened to the knife.
smontgomery@thegazette.canwest.com
Friday, October 02, 2009
Five Years
Five years have passed by in the blink of an eye. My life was forever changed five years ago. I've never quite been the same.
A phone ringing unexpectedly early in the morning--as it did when my parents called that Monday morning to tell me Kelly-Anne had been attacked--can still bring me to my knees. The approach of the crisp fall weather reminds me of what I've lost. The sight of someone with beautiful ringlets and a wide smile can still bring tears to my eyes.
Some of my memories of Kelly-Anne have faded. But some are as clear as if they happened an hour ago. I haven't found anyone or anything to fill the void that Kelly-Anne left in my life. But I have not allowed this to break me, either.
I try to honor Kell's memory and legacy in big and small ways: the photo of her with a Canadian flag on her cheek that hangs above my desk; smiling and dancing at a Great Big Sea concert; endless roadtrip adventures; this blog; a Martha Stewart crafting project.
As we approach yet another unhappy anniversary, I hope you will honor Kell's memory in your own life. Reach out to a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Encourage a small child or teenager who is searching for his or her path. Attempt a crafting project just for the heck of it. Stop, literally, and smell the roses. You never know how much time you have left.
A phone ringing unexpectedly early in the morning--as it did when my parents called that Monday morning to tell me Kelly-Anne had been attacked--can still bring me to my knees. The approach of the crisp fall weather reminds me of what I've lost. The sight of someone with beautiful ringlets and a wide smile can still bring tears to my eyes.
Some of my memories of Kelly-Anne have faded. But some are as clear as if they happened an hour ago. I haven't found anyone or anything to fill the void that Kelly-Anne left in my life. But I have not allowed this to break me, either.
I try to honor Kell's memory and legacy in big and small ways: the photo of her with a Canadian flag on her cheek that hangs above my desk; smiling and dancing at a Great Big Sea concert; endless roadtrip adventures; this blog; a Martha Stewart crafting project.
As we approach yet another unhappy anniversary, I hope you will honor Kell's memory in your own life. Reach out to a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Encourage a small child or teenager who is searching for his or her path. Attempt a crafting project just for the heck of it. Stop, literally, and smell the roses. You never know how much time you have left.
Funny Memories--Post Five
This one comes from a comment that was left in Kelly-Anne's online obituary by the mother of one of her students at L'Academie Marie Claire:
"Kelly-Anne was a remarkable person with many facets to her life. I knew her not as an athlete or a team-mate but as a teacher to my young son, Zachary. She encouraged Zachary to express his uniqueness, to laugh loudly, to play boisterously and, most of all, to just have fun. She was a breath of fresh air, and her tragic death has left a hole in my family's hearts. What other educator would play air guitar with Zachary and actually know the words to "Summer of '69" to sing along with him? We were lucky to have had her in our lives -- and are blessed because of it. Doreen and John, you raised a wonderful daughter. I think of you and Kimberley often and hope peace finds you. And I will never forget Kelly-Anne. "
"Kelly-Anne was a remarkable person with many facets to her life. I knew her not as an athlete or a team-mate but as a teacher to my young son, Zachary. She encouraged Zachary to express his uniqueness, to laugh loudly, to play boisterously and, most of all, to just have fun. She was a breath of fresh air, and her tragic death has left a hole in my family's hearts. What other educator would play air guitar with Zachary and actually know the words to "Summer of '69" to sing along with him? We were lucky to have had her in our lives -- and are blessed because of it. Doreen and John, you raised a wonderful daughter. I think of you and Kimberley often and hope peace finds you. And I will never forget Kelly-Anne. "
Article from the Hudson Gazette
A mother's journey
By Suzana Vukic
Hudson Gazette
It happened five years ago but for Doreen Haddad-Drummond, it feels like yesterday. On October 3, 2004, just before midnight, she got a phone call from her ex-husband John Drummond. Their daughter Kelly-Anne had been attacked and was at the Montreal General Hospital. Doreen was half-asleep when she took the call. It all seemed like a dream.
Once at the Montreal General Hospital's trauma unit, in the midst of chaos, she saw Kelly-Anne hooked up to life-support machines. A brain scan revealed a knifeblade still embedded in Kelly-Anne's head. Her brain stem had been severed from her spinal cord. No medical solution existed to fix this. The stabbing left Kelly-Anne brain-dead and paralyzed, unable to breathe without life support.
Doreen wanted to hold on to hope but realized that was impossible. On October 5, 2004, at 3:30 p.m., the family decided to turn off Kelly-Anne's life support.
Martin Morin-Cousineau, Kelly-Anne's boyfriend, stabbed her behind the neck with a steak knife, approaching from behind, in the apartment they shared in Pierrefonds. It emerged that Morin-Cousineau had a history of violence towards women and that Kelly-Anne had been considering leaving him. He pleaded not guilty and claimed the fatal blow was an accident.
At his 2006 trial, a jury found Morin-Cousineau guilty of second-degree murder, a charge which automatically carries a life sentence. He must serve a minimum of 13 years in prison before being considered for parole. He remains unrepentant to this day.
It's hard to fathom a mother coping and going on with the knowledge that her precious daughter, at 24, lost her life at the hands of someone she knew and loved. Yet go on she must, and Doreen has found the courage to do so with great dignity and purpose. Since Kelly-Anne's death, Doreen has been involved with and given support to families of homicide victims. These days, her efforts are focused on speaking at conferences and getting her message out to women who are victims of abuse and violence, urging them to leave their abusers before it's too late. "We've lost too many women in Quebec", says Doreen.
Kelly-Anne left behind her parents and sister Kim, exactly 11 months younger than her and someone for whom Kelly-Anne was a great friend and mentor. Kelly-Anne also had many friends who mourn her to this day. She was a popular young woman, an accomplished athlete and team player. She played rugby and water polo, among other sports, and was a lifeguard. She had gone to Italy weeks before her death to compete at an international lifeguarding competition in Viareggio. Kelly-Anne had graduated with a communications degree from Concordia University in 2002. She worked as an educator in a daycare with small children.
On October 5, the family will commemorate the fifth anniversary of Kelly-Anne's death in a small, private remembrance ceremony.
On September 29, a fundraising women's rugby event was held, as it has been every year at around the same time since Kelly-Anne's death. The Kelly-Anne Drummond Memorial Cup is played between the Concordia and McGill women's rugby teams in her honour (Kelly-Anne played for the Concordia Stingers). This year the money raised will go to Women Aware, an organization that provides support to women facing conjugal violence. Each year in March since her death, the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club (for whom Kelly-Anne also played) hosts a fundraiser at McKibbin's Irish Pub, West Island, "celebrating the spirit of Kelly-Anne".
On November 28, as in every year since her death, the Quebec Lifesaving Society will hold a cocktail fundraiser for the Kelly-Anne Drummond Foundation to commemorate her birthday at the D.D.O. Aquatic Centre. This is the year she would have turned 30.
All of these events are hosted by Kelly-Anne's friends, peers and fellow athletes, something Doreen finds deeply touching.
Especially heartwarming is a blog created by Kelly-Anne's good friend, Rachel Ayerst, in remembrance of Kelly-Anne (http://kadrummond.blogspot.com). Doreen has also created her own blog in remembrance of her late daughter (http://mydaughterkelly-anne.blogspot.com). In reading it, one can see that Kelly-Anne's spirit is still strongly felt by Doreen as she lives out each day without her. Doreen looks to Kelly-Anne for an example of how best to live life. She sees her daughter as her guide and mentor. Kelly-Anne loved life and people. She had a great sense of adventure, always smiled and laughed, and was forever keen on learning and being involved.
"It's a life sentence that we're living," Doreen says. "Every day that we're alive and that Kelly-Anne isn't here with us is a life sentence."
By Suzana Vukic
Hudson Gazette
It happened five years ago but for Doreen Haddad-Drummond, it feels like yesterday. On October 3, 2004, just before midnight, she got a phone call from her ex-husband John Drummond. Their daughter Kelly-Anne had been attacked and was at the Montreal General Hospital. Doreen was half-asleep when she took the call. It all seemed like a dream.
Once at the Montreal General Hospital's trauma unit, in the midst of chaos, she saw Kelly-Anne hooked up to life-support machines. A brain scan revealed a knifeblade still embedded in Kelly-Anne's head. Her brain stem had been severed from her spinal cord. No medical solution existed to fix this. The stabbing left Kelly-Anne brain-dead and paralyzed, unable to breathe without life support.
Doreen wanted to hold on to hope but realized that was impossible. On October 5, 2004, at 3:30 p.m., the family decided to turn off Kelly-Anne's life support.
Martin Morin-Cousineau, Kelly-Anne's boyfriend, stabbed her behind the neck with a steak knife, approaching from behind, in the apartment they shared in Pierrefonds. It emerged that Morin-Cousineau had a history of violence towards women and that Kelly-Anne had been considering leaving him. He pleaded not guilty and claimed the fatal blow was an accident.
At his 2006 trial, a jury found Morin-Cousineau guilty of second-degree murder, a charge which automatically carries a life sentence. He must serve a minimum of 13 years in prison before being considered for parole. He remains unrepentant to this day.
It's hard to fathom a mother coping and going on with the knowledge that her precious daughter, at 24, lost her life at the hands of someone she knew and loved. Yet go on she must, and Doreen has found the courage to do so with great dignity and purpose. Since Kelly-Anne's death, Doreen has been involved with and given support to families of homicide victims. These days, her efforts are focused on speaking at conferences and getting her message out to women who are victims of abuse and violence, urging them to leave their abusers before it's too late. "We've lost too many women in Quebec", says Doreen.
Kelly-Anne left behind her parents and sister Kim, exactly 11 months younger than her and someone for whom Kelly-Anne was a great friend and mentor. Kelly-Anne also had many friends who mourn her to this day. She was a popular young woman, an accomplished athlete and team player. She played rugby and water polo, among other sports, and was a lifeguard. She had gone to Italy weeks before her death to compete at an international lifeguarding competition in Viareggio. Kelly-Anne had graduated with a communications degree from Concordia University in 2002. She worked as an educator in a daycare with small children.
On October 5, the family will commemorate the fifth anniversary of Kelly-Anne's death in a small, private remembrance ceremony.
On September 29, a fundraising women's rugby event was held, as it has been every year at around the same time since Kelly-Anne's death. The Kelly-Anne Drummond Memorial Cup is played between the Concordia and McGill women's rugby teams in her honour (Kelly-Anne played for the Concordia Stingers). This year the money raised will go to Women Aware, an organization that provides support to women facing conjugal violence. Each year in March since her death, the Montreal Barbarians Rugby Club (for whom Kelly-Anne also played) hosts a fundraiser at McKibbin's Irish Pub, West Island, "celebrating the spirit of Kelly-Anne".
On November 28, as in every year since her death, the Quebec Lifesaving Society will hold a cocktail fundraiser for the Kelly-Anne Drummond Foundation to commemorate her birthday at the D.D.O. Aquatic Centre. This is the year she would have turned 30.
All of these events are hosted by Kelly-Anne's friends, peers and fellow athletes, something Doreen finds deeply touching.
Especially heartwarming is a blog created by Kelly-Anne's good friend, Rachel Ayerst, in remembrance of Kelly-Anne (http://kadrummond.blogspot.com). Doreen has also created her own blog in remembrance of her late daughter (http://mydaughterkelly-anne.blogspot.com). In reading it, one can see that Kelly-Anne's spirit is still strongly felt by Doreen as she lives out each day without her. Doreen looks to Kelly-Anne for an example of how best to live life. She sees her daughter as her guide and mentor. Kelly-Anne loved life and people. She had a great sense of adventure, always smiled and laughed, and was forever keen on learning and being involved.
"It's a life sentence that we're living," Doreen says. "Every day that we're alive and that Kelly-Anne isn't here with us is a life sentence."
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Funny Memories--Post Four
Today's funny memory about Kelly-Anne comes from her mother, Doreen, who keeps a wonderful blog over here. Here's an excerpt from Doreen's story. Read the full version here. If you want to read earlier posts in this series, click here, here, or here.
Kelly-Anne really like Ashley McIssac...a singer from the east coast. Kell had a thing for Celtic music. One day, later in the evening, Kell had come home from Waterpolo practice. She had been to school that day, and decided sometime in the morning to leave school to go downtown to find McIssac. He was in town doing a show and Kelly-Anne decided that she would like to have a one on one with him. I was shocked that she just left school without notifying us or her teacher. I said Kell..".how did you do that?" She responded..."Mom, I opened the front door of the school and put one foot in front of the other and left." She rode the bus downtown, walked Ste. Catherine street and low and behold found McIssac walking out of a resto. She spend her quality time with him alone chatting on the street, then made her way back towards home to go to her waterpolo practice...
That sums up Kelly-Anne in a nutshell. She dreamed big and believed things were possible that no one else would every try and attempt. And sometimes, as evidenced by the story above, she succeded!
Kelly-Anne really like Ashley McIssac...a singer from the east coast. Kell had a thing for Celtic music. One day, later in the evening, Kell had come home from Waterpolo practice. She had been to school that day, and decided sometime in the morning to leave school to go downtown to find McIssac. He was in town doing a show and Kelly-Anne decided that she would like to have a one on one with him. I was shocked that she just left school without notifying us or her teacher. I said Kell..".how did you do that?" She responded..."Mom, I opened the front door of the school and put one foot in front of the other and left." She rode the bus downtown, walked Ste. Catherine street and low and behold found McIssac walking out of a resto. She spend her quality time with him alone chatting on the street, then made her way back towards home to go to her waterpolo practice...
That sums up Kelly-Anne in a nutshell. She dreamed big and believed things were possible that no one else would every try and attempt. And sometimes, as evidenced by the story above, she succeded!
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