She was 24.
So many good things have happened over the past 15 years, for all of us. But the shadow of Kell's tragic death is a a haunting specter that looms large. She is still missed by those who loved her. And she missed out on experiencing so much that I know would have brought her great joy. Weddings, babies, careers, sporting achievements, and many other milestones.
I think of Kelly-Anne all the time. I wonder what she'd be doing. I talk about her too. It's a little uncomfortable to bring up such a tragic event from so long ago with people who didn't know her, but I often feel compelled. I like to say her name.
No one is guaranteed a tomorrow. That is a cruel reality of life. Losing Kelly-Anne so tragically at such a young age was a formative experience for me. I try to remember that I don't know how many tomorrows God will give me and to live each day like I would if it was my last.
I don't always succeed. I have some regrets. But mostly I've tried to work hard, do something that matters, be principled, love those around me, and be loyal. These are things that I know she would love.
I think, too, about forgiveness.
I might be thinking more of forgiveness because I watched the trial and conviction this week of Amber Guyger, the Dallas police officer who entered the wrong apartment and tragically shot to death Botham Jean, an innocent, unarmed man sitting in his own home. Completely terrible, tragic, and senseless. So many things went wrong for this police officer to not realize she entered the WRONG apartment and then kill the person sitting there. Horrendous, to say the least.
But take a look at what Botham Jean's brother, Brandt, shared during his victim impact statement.
Would you be able to express this kind of love and compassion for someone who shot and killed your beloved brother for no reason? I certainly could not have. But it is clear that the murderer made a tragic, inexplicable mistake and for which she has expressed shame and remorse. She has said repeatedly she wishes it was her who was killed that day.
To my knowledge, Morin-Cousineau still denies responsibility for Kelly-Anne's murder. He has never expressed remorse or asked for forgiveness. I find that so sad. How could you be unrepentant for 15 years? Is he so troubled as to be unable to accept responsibility for his actions, even as he pays his debt to society? He appealed his conviction. That appeal was denied. Yet, he still denies responsibility.
There should be a very high price for what he did. He took the life of a vibrant, innocent 24 year old in cold blood. The price for that crime should be life imprisonment. Instead he is already eligible for parole. He doesn't deserve the chance to harm anyone else--now or ever.
At Martin's last parole hearing, the commissioner of the parole board asked him "what would Kelly-Anne say if she were here?" His tone-deaf response was "I hope she would say good things about me." Kelly-Anne was indeed a loving person. She believed in giving people the benefit of doubt. She was trusting. She would turn the other cheek. But she did not expect to have her life taken from her on October 3, 2004, by a man who professed to love her. And she would not hesitate to say that he should not be given the chance to harm anyone else.
I do not wish the man who killed Kelly-Anne ill. I hope he rebuilds his life, to the extent possible from behind bars, and seeks treatment for the violence and anger problems that caused him to harm Kelly-Anne in the first place. After she was murdered, her family and I heard from a number of people who had experienced anger problems and violence from this man. While I don't believe he can be trusted to be in society again, I hope he finds peace, seeks forgiveness, and develops a real relationship with God.
It won't, of course, bring back Kelly-Anne. But maybe it would bring a little more peace for those who loved her.
Rest in peace, Kelly-Anne. You are never forgotten.
