TEN

Ten years ago today, Kelly-Anne Drummond was murdered.

October 3, 2004, was a day that none of us will ever forget.  For those of us who loved her, it felt like our hearts were ripped from our chests.  Losing someone you love is never easy, but losing someone you love to a preventable violent act committed by someone who supposedly loved her is unbearable. 

In the days and weeks that followed Kell's death there were many times I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. The pain and sorrow I felt were immense.  There was also a sense of guilt.  Each passing minute, hour, day, and year were a reminder of how lucky I was to be alive--and a reminder of Kelly-Anne being gone.

And so, Kelly-Anne is frozen in my mind at age twenty-four.  I didn't have a chance to see how her life would turn out.  Because it was cut so tragically short.  Sometimes I think about the adventures I know we would have had together.  Sometimes I think of who she would have married, how many kids she would have had, and what she would be doing with her career.  Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have her standing by my side at my wedding, serving as my maid of honor, just like she should have.


I still miss Kelly-Anne as much today as I did ten years ago.  But somehow it is different.  The feelings aren't as raw or intense.  But this kind of tragedy sure can help you figure out who your real friends are.  Who are the people in your life who would go out of their way for you if you experienced a loss, illness, or other difficulty?  Who are the people in your life who would simply fade away because they were unable (or unwilling) to help?

Perhaps most importantly: What kind of person are you?

Coincidentally, this is my 200th post on this blog.  Thank you all for reading along and helping keep Kelly-Anne's memory alive these past ten years.  The photos, stories, tributes, etc. are much appreciated.

Finally, if you have a moment today, please say a prayer for Kelly-Anne.  And please pray for her family as they mark the tenth anniversary of this tragedy. 

Adventure through Travel

I ran across this interesting piece in Thought Catalog about the benefits--and drawbacks--of travel and adventure.  It made me think about Kelly-Anne's San Diego experience.

After completing her coursework for her bachelor's degree, Kell was looking for a change of scenery.  Jobs in her chosen field of communications were hard to come by and things on the home front felt unsettled.  So left Montreal for a few months, traveling to San Diego with her dear friends Caro and Martin to live, work, and adventure.  She loved the experience and had a wonderful time.  While she was there she worked for a catering company, trained for her lifeguarding competitions, and dated a boy she met from England.
  

All in all, it was a pretty big adventure for Kell!

But then it was time to come home.

And reality came crashing down.  Everything Kell had left behind in Montreal was still exactly how she left.  Jobs in her field still weren't plentiful and things on the home front were not as she had imagined.  Good friends were moving into different stages of life (either in jobs, relationships, or school).  Readjusting to life in her hometown was not easy--I can vividly remember talking to Kell during this time period about how she hoped things would change when she was away and how disappointing she was upon her return.

Eventually, it all settled down and Kell was back into the swing of things.  But I definitely think she would have related to article posted in Thought Catalog.  

Circle of Life

Kelly-Anne loved children.  Before her death she was a teacher at a noted preschool on the West Island.  She taught them to swim.  She taught them to learn.  She taught them to adventure.  She taught them to play air guitar.  She taught them to love life.

She loved all kids--big and small--and they loved her just as much.

I think it is safe to say that there's no kid she would have loved more than her beautiful niece, Paige.

Paige pays a visit to Auntie Kell's grave.  Very sad, of course--but but beautiful as well.  Photo courtesy of Paige's mom.

Paige will grow up knowing all about her beloved Aunt Kelly-Anne.  Her mother, Kim, and her grandparents, John and Doreen, will make sure hears about Kell.  I will show her the messages Kell wrote to our future kids in my yearbook.  We will make sure Paige knows what Kell looked like, what she acted like, what she believed in, what motivated her, and how much she would have loved her beautiful little niece.

They'll tell her stories, show her photos, teach her lessons, and honor her memory.  And that's the way it should be.  It is important to speak of the dead.  They should not be forgotten and it is the duty of the living to make sure that is so.

I believe we should also pray for the dead and I have not forgotten Kelly-Anne in my prayers these last ten years.

If you aren't sure how to pray for the dead.  Here's a pretty good start.  From Catholic Online.

God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.

In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.

Amen. 

Summer Lovin'

Kell and Kim after and evening of adventuring in Montreal.

Another summer has rolled around and it is hard to believe we've reached 2014--the tenth anniversary of Kell's death.

So much has changed in all of our lives.  And throughout it all we've missed Kelly-Anne.  She would have rejoiced in the good things and mourned the bad things and been there to support her family and many friends.

We've all found ways--big and small--to keep her memory alive.

As we head toward the tenth anniversary of Kell's death, please stay tuned for a series of posts that try to honor her memory in the best way I know how.